End-of-Life Planning: How to Talk with Loved Ones About Final Wishes 

What Is Estate Planning? 

Estate planning helps ensure your wishes are honored and your loved ones are protected. 

Estate planning is the process of deciding how your medical, legal, and financial affairs will be handled if you pass away or become incapacitated. While many people assume estate planning is only for those with significant assets, the reality is that nearly everyone can benefit from having a plan in place. 

A comprehensive estate plan includes more than just a will, such as: 

• A will or trust 
• Beneficiary designations 
• Advance healthcare directives 
• A healthcare proxy or durable power of attorney 
• Life insurance to help provide financial support 

At its core, estate planning is about making your wishes known, which can reduce the emotional load of your surviving loved ones during a difficult time. 

Related Resource: Federal Estate Planning Guide >  

The Importance of Estate Planning for You and Your Loved Ones 

Many people avoid discussing end-of-life plans because the topic naturally brings up thoughts of illness, aging, or death. This discomfort is completely normal. However, avoiding the conversation doesn’t make the need for planning go away. 

A robust estate plan helps ensure that: 

• Your loved ones, including minors, are cared for according to your wishes 
• Medical decisions reflect your values 
• Financial responsibilities are handled smoothly 
• Family members are spared unnecessary stress, conflict, or uncertainty around decisions. 

Rather than focusing on loss, we encourage you to think of estate planning as an act of love that protects the people who matter most. 

Related Resource: 6 Essential Questions About Wills, Answered >

How to Prepare for an End-of-Life Conversation 

As you approach this conversation with loved ones, choosing the right setting can make a significant difference in how it’s received. 

Tips for preparing: 

• Choose the right time: Avoid stressful moments, holidays, or family conflicts. A quiet afternoon or relaxed evening often works best. 
• Pick a comfortable setting: A familiar, private space helps everyone feel more at ease. 
• Set expectations: Let loved ones know ahead of time that you’d like to talk about planning for the future. 
• Prepare questions in advance: The Family Caregiver Alliance recommends writing down questions beforehand to help guide sensitive discussions and keep them focused. 

You don’t need to cover everything in one conversation. Think of this as the start of an ongoing dialogue, especially as your end-of-life plans will likely evolve through future life changes. 

What Topics Should an End-of-Life Discussion Include? 

These estate planning topics can help guide meaningful conversations with family members. 

While every family’s situation is unique, you can use the following topics as a starting point for a meaningful and productive discussion:  

Medical Preferences

• Advance directives or living wills 
• Preferences for life-sustaining treatment 
• Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) orders 
• Comfort care and pain management wishes 

Legal Matters

• Existence and location of a Will or trust 
• Healthcare proxy or medical power of attorney 
• Financial power of attorney 
• Important documents and how to access them 

Financial Considerations

• Bank accounts, retirement plans, and beneficiaries 
• Outstanding debts or financial obligations 
• Life insurance policies, coverage amounts, and beneficiaries 

How You’d Like to Spend Your Final Days 

• Preferred setting (home, hospice, hospital) 
• Who you’d want around you 
• Spiritual or personal preferences 

Funeral and Memorial Wishes 

• Burial, cremation, or donation 
• Type of service or memorial 
• Preferred location 
• Any cultural or religious considerations 
• Prepaid funeral plans or trusts 
• Legacy letters or ethical wills 

Guardianship for Minors or Dependents 

• Who would care for minor children 
• Plans for dependents with special needs 
• Instructions for pets 

Covering these topics ahead of time helps ensure clarity and reduces the likelihood of difficult decisions being made when emotions are already running high. 

Related Resource: 8 Things to Include In Your Estate Plan >  

How to Overcome Common Challenges When Discussing End-of-Life Planning

You may encounter resistance or hesitation when starting these conversations. Here are a few common responses and how to gently move the discussion forward: 

“I don’t want to think about that.” 

Response: Acknowledge the discomfort and explain that planning now can prevent stress later. 

“We’ll deal with it when the time comes.” 

Response: Share that unexpected situations can happen, and having a plan offers peace of mind. 

“Everything will work itself out.” 

Response: Gently explain that clear instructions help loved ones avoid confusion or disagreement. 

Emotional reactions or silence 

Response: Allow space, listen without judgment, and revisit the topic later if needed. 

Patience, empathy, and reassurance go a long way. The goal isn’t to force decisions—it’s to create understanding. 

The Role of Group Term Life Insurance in Your Estate Planning Strategy 

Life insurance is a critical part of planning for the unexpected and is often a foundational component of a complete estate planning strategy. It can help replace lost income, cover final expenses, pay off debts, and provide ongoing financial support for loved ones. 

With Group Term Life Insurance from WAEPA, current and former Federal employees and their families can apply for up to $1.5 million in exclusive coverage designed to help safeguard your financial future.  

This protection can be an essential component of an estate plan and offer reassurance that, even in difficult moments, your loved ones will be financially supported.  

Learn more about WAEPA’s life insurance options for Feds. > 

Estate planning isn’t about anticipating the worst—it’s about preparing with care. Starting the conversation today can make all the difference for tomorrow.